Monday Review: THE HOBO HANDBOOK by Josh Mack

If I were rich I would travel.  If I were poor I'd be a hobo.  But I repeat myself.


The Hobo Handbook: A Field Guide to Living by Your Own Rules
by Josh Mack
Trade Paperback
Adams Media

Being lazy is hard work.  When most of us think of hobos our minds turn to dirty and stinky unshaven men with in filthy rag-clothing who hang out in rail yards.  Thanks, Hollywood.

But Josh Mack tells us it isn't so easy being "lazy."  While recognizing the quirky and humorous slant of the book, the author is clearly serious about his subject. He traveled across the U.S. nine times.  This is a man who knows of which he speaks.

First up, we are given a "Hobo Aptitude Test."  This test is used to weed out the contenders from the pretenders.  Readers are asked to give answers to statements such as:

"A lot of the people you'll be meeting are a bit more "out there" than the people you met at the poetry slam who you thought were "out there." Most folks are good, but like anywhere - now even more so - people can be..."challenging."

Your choices:
1. That's just what I'm looking for.
2. I can handle whatever comes my way.
3. Hmmm...I was kinda hoping not to meet anybody.
4. Forget it, just the thought creeps me out and makes me want to watch a Disney movie instead.

If, after completing the aptitude test, you decide you still want to be a hobo, plenty of helpful advice follows.

Readers are given the "hobo code." It may surprise you that many hobos don't look like the stereotype to the right.  Many of them are "...just as likely to find a job on Craigslist while sipping a soy latte the put on a debit card as they are to brew a pot of cowboy coffee over a small campfire by the tracks as they wait for word to arrive on where the jobs are."

The author provides helpful advice on how to get started as a hobo, how to travel light, modes of transportation, finding places to sleep and eat, where to find work (and how to secure the job - even as a hobo.)  Advice is also given on how to make your money last, how to keep clean and even how to read "hobo symbols" left by others who have blazed your trail.  Read the book and you'll get tips on how to stay out of trouble and how to spend your "down-time," (for example, you could attend the National Hobo Convention (no joke.))  You'll learn how to post bail, how to tell north from south with a paperclip and water and how to treat various injuries and ailments.  Helpful advice is also given on how to make hobo delicacies such as dandelion salad.

Sound like fun?  Hurry, your train is leaving.

(But please first read the section on how to hop a train.)